I’m Surrounded, but Lonely
I’m not alone in my life. but i’m lonely in it.
Some posts are hard to write because they’re raw.
Others are hard to write because they’re true.
This one is both.
I’m not writing this because I want sympathy. I’m writing it because I know, deep down, I’m not the only one feeling this way. And maybe if I say it out loud, someone else will exhale and say, “Oh. Me too.”
THE UNSEEN LONELINESS
I’m a mom. A partner. A sister. A friend.
My life is full of people. Kids in every room. A fiance. Family chat threads. Names in my phone. Conversations in my inbox.
But here’s the truth:
I feel completely, heartbreakingly alone.
I’m not talking about the kind of loneliness that comes from not having friends. I’m talking about the kind that creeps in even when you do, when everyone’s too busy, too tired, too overwhelmed to show up in the small ways that make you feel like you still matter outside your responsibilities.
Sometimes I just want someone to say, “Wanna go get lunch?”
Sometimes I want to watch a dumb show next to someone who isn’t asking for anything from me.
Sometimes I want to walk through stores with someone with no intention of buying anything for hours.
Not every need is a crisis. Some are just… human.
THE WALLS THAT KEEP ME IN
In our house, no one babysits our youngest child.
It’s not a casual boundary – it’s a wall. A non-negotiable. A consequence of trauma and safety and all the right reasons that still feel wrong when you’re trapped by them.
That means no date nights. No spontaneous coffee runs. No real life outside the four walls of “home.”
And when your home is full of needs and noise but no space for you – the loneliness doesn’t just settle in.
It suffocates.
WHEN PEOPLE ARE “TOO BUSY” FOR YOU
Here’s where it really stings.
I’ve reached out.
I’ve asked.
I’ve said the words: “Do you have time for me?”
And I’ve gotten silence. Or “maybe soon.” Or “I’m just exhausted.”
And I get it, people are struggling. Life is hard. We’re all tired.
But that doesn’t make it hurt less.
That doesn’t make me feel less invisible.
THE GRIEF OF STILL TRYING
I don’t want a therapist right now.
I want a person. A “let’s go do something dumb and laugh until we cry” person.
A “you don’t have to explain anything, just be” kind of person.
And I don’t have one.
I keep showing up. I keep asking. I keep offering presence, and I keep getting passed over.
I’m tired of being the strong one. The capable one. The one everyone assumes is okay.
Because sometimes I’m not.
And right now? I’m not.
If you’ve ever felt this way, like your life is full but your soul is starving, please know you’re not broken.
You’re not needy. You’re not dramatic. You’re just human.
And you deserve to be seen.
Even if this post is the only place that happens today, I see you. And you’re not alone here.
